First post on the iPad!

Aaaaaand.....here it is! Finally! That's right folks! I'm writing my first blog entry with a brand new iPad! And yes, I know. These iPad things are just a fad. The craze in America was scary enough. Even scarier...I was buying into it. But truth be told, I was planning to get one anyway. The timing just worked out so that a new iPad was coming out just when I decided to get one.

Don't worry, I'm not here to write another review about this thing. We've got enough of those around the Internet. I just want everyone to know that this is an investment toward my writing, drawing, and reading. I must write every day, and now I have no excuse. ....Let's just hope they let me use this thing at school.

Speaking of schools, I figure I should get back into telling you guys about my daily life at work, and it just so happens that we're starting up a new school year in a week or so. I'm lucky enough to have the same schools, too! Now, I know that I dropped off the map for a while...again. But there's a reason for that. My contract was kinda...up in the air for a while, and I was even looking for other places for employment, so I wasn't in the right place mentally. All my entries would have been long rants and lists of complaints, and I really didn't wanna share all that here.

So let's start from...two days ago. March 30th. Well, let's start with a few events leading up to that. See, in every school, company, small shop, and (probably) neighborhood association in Japan, there is a tradition that has been passed down for thousands of years (I think), from generation to generation, father to son, mother to daughter, boss to employee: the drinking party. Now, before you start conjuring up images of your typical American drunken debauchery, lemme tell you that Japan is far too tame and timid for that, despite whatever weirdness you may have witnessed on the grand Internet. No, a Japanese drinking party is like...well, it's like drinking with people from the Shire or something. Just having a grand ol' time with people you were afraid to talk to while sober. Really...alcohol strengthens relationships in Japan, so to refuse alcohol is pretty much saying, "I don't want to associate myself with YOU people."

So, even at my school, they have quite a few drinking parties...for the teachers, of course. But, in all my three years of teaching at this particular school, they never invited me. I didn't worry; they can get kinda pricey, and if you've been to one, you've been to 'em all. However, this year, my return was yet again in doubt, and they actually had a chance to invite me, so, the principal took the initiative and basically decided that I'd be there. He and I get along quite well, so I was cool with it. But right after I'd said yes, I realized who I'd be drinking with. See, maybe you remember, most likely you don't, but at my very first junior high school there was a joker on staff who tried to get me crazy drunk. He failed, but he tried his darnedest. And guess who transferred to my current school. The Spiker himself. The moment I said yes, a devilish grin spread across his face, and he asked me, "Shochuu is a very dangerous liquor for you, isn't it.". He knew he had me trapped. He knew I couldn't lie, and soon, he and the principal were concocting a plan to have me chugging multiple bottles of the stuff. One bottle is about half a gallon.

So, the day of the party, I went out and ate as many carbs and heavy, empty calories as I could. I needed something to soak up all the liquor those guys were undoubtedly gonna try to make me consume. This was the first and only time I'd gone to McDonald's out of concern for my health. Irony, indeed. A double quarter pounder, a chicken filet-o, large fries and coke should be enough. Turns out, it was a little too much. I was worried that I'd eaten so much that I would be able to enjoy any of the food at the party, so I began walking around a bit, to get all that wonderful grease and fat moving through my system. While doing that, I turned my attention to picking out clothes.

Considering it was a drinking party, I figured something casual would be OK. So, I opted for a Ralph Lauren sweater (a gift from the girlfriend) and some chino slacks (a gift from my sister). Felt weird, because I only really have two modes in Japan: shirt, tie and dress slacks, and jeans and a t-shirt. Talk about extremes. But, I looked...well, as presentable as a man of my stature can look in a country of so few options. So imagine my surprise when my ride came to get me, and the dude was rocking the suit and tie! Really, bruh? You gonna get drunk in a suit? Aaight. Not me, man. I had more sense than that. And had I been in America, I would've been quite confident in my decision, but after living here for almost six years, that desire to conform has oddly become part of my psyche (for living in Japan). So when we got to the place where the party was gonna be, and all the dudes were in suits and ties, my confidence was...less than solid. But hey, I stick out anyway, so there's really no point in trying to conform out here.

Anyway, so we were at a local golf range. What? What were you doing at a golf range, you say? That's where the principal wanted to do his drinking! And, in Japan, you don't question the oldest man in the room! Ever! Plus, it was an opportunity to see a bunch of Japanese men doing their best to play golf while inebriated. Was I gonna question fate? Nope. Not me. That never happened, but still! Don't question fate!So, after the seats were chosen, we all sat down and the party started. Lots of beer and tea was passed around, the tables were laden with sashimi, fried foods, and some really spicy chorizo. People talked and laughed, departing teachers gave speeches and cried, and, as expected, The Spiker did his best to get me drunk off of shochuu. Thing is, I can handle way more liquor than he expected, so, he ended up getting hammered before I even felt tipsy. Ah, Japanese men.

A lot of teachers who avoided me in school were suddenly quite friendly. Like I said, alcohol strengthens relationships. This is very normal, and I'm sure they use the same conversational topics with every ALT they drink with. But, ya know, it still makes you feel warm inside. Or maybe that was the shochuu.

After three hours of merriment, we prepared for the second party (again, this is normal), to be held at a ramen shop in the middle of nowhere. Since my entire town is pretty much in the middle of nowhere this came as no surprise, but the woman who was to drive us there had no idea how to get there. So, I broke out my iPhone and wowed everyone with my ability to navigate, taking us down perilously narrow roads, at break neck speeds. I'm shocked I could do I with any amount of alcohol in my system. Seriously, have you seen a map of Japan? Like...the roads? Looks like someone traced a pile of spaghetti.

Speaking of noodles, we got to the ramen place and restarted the festivities. The principal requested that I do the toast, and I did, in English, and got all those teachers to get a little louder than they normally would have. English makes everyone rowdier. More drinks, ramen, gyoza, talks about pasts and futures, and then...it was over. And I was just buzzed. Not grinning like an idiot buzzed, but just...content. And as they dropped me off at my apartment, I remembered that I have a pretty good life here. Sure, clothes don't fit, taxes are insanely high, and I really have to leave before I'm 35, but...for what it's worth, Japan is a good place. Safe and clean, even while drunk.

How many places can claim that, eh?

J